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Our son, Brandon, graduates from high school tonight. I have written a series of letters to him that I hope will encourage him to live a life that pleases God. I am sharing some of them with you hoping that it might inspire and encourage you as well. I am thinking of getting them published. Let me know what you think.

Letter # 20 - Handling pain and disappointment

Dear Brandon,

A loving father allows his son to feel pain. That may seem like an incongruous statement since we know that one of the ways love is expressed is by protecting the object of our love from pain. How can love inflict pain on purpose? It can when greater pain is avoided by the experience. We observe this act of love in nature. A mother eagle will push the eaglet from the comfort and safety of its nest even when it may be dangerous to do so. This is necessary for the eagle to learn to fly. Temporary fear and pain is far less cruel than confining an eagle to a nest; for eagles, just like young men, are made to fly.

God knows that I have tried my best to maintain this steadiness in your life. The task is far more difficult than you know. Striking a balance between protection and preparation pulls at a father. The friction must be well-maintained through prayer and wisdom. Too much and you risk alienation and bitterness. Too little and you hamstring your progeny with a soft and puny soul. My goal has always been to prepare you to live large, to release your soul into wide open spaces, unfettered by fear, and thirsty for life. I hope you have felt enough pain to keep you vigilant while knowing that my arm was around your shoulder the whole time.

I dare not try to paint a picture of a future devoid of pain or disappointment. Such existence lives only in fairy tales. On the other hand, I dare not weave a story of desperation, worry, and fear. No one has to live that way. The choice is yours. Will there be times your heart aches? I am sure of it. You do not have to let those moments define you, though. I am convinced that good is greater than evil, joy is stronger than sadness, happiness overcomes despair, and love conquers hate. God marked life with overwhelming love when Jesus came and died a propitious death for our sins. He wins. When we dance to the rhythm of His grace no fear, no sorrow, and no pain can define us. There is no need to live in despair or defeat. You do not have to participate in that kind of life since the Victorious One lives in you, with you, and through you.

I am proud of you. Now I believe you have some living to do.

Love,

Dad

Our son, Brandon, graduates from high school this week. I have written a series of letters to him that I hope will encourage him to live a life that pleases God. I am sharing some of them with you hoping that it might inspire and encourage you as well. I am thinking of getting them published. Let me know what you think.

Letter # 19 - Learn to laugh

Dear Brandon,

Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, wrote that laughter was good for your heart like medicine. Millennia later doctors and scientists discovered that Solomon was not just speaking metaphorically, but that a positive attitude, happiness, and a good outlook actually help ward off and even heal disease. It turns out that laughter really is good for your soul, mind, and body.

Most of the time young men do not need to be reminded to laugh. However, as we get older and shoulder more responsibility we have to recall that we should take God seriously and everything else not so seriously. I think it is vital to your well-being to laugh. You should be able to laugh at life and laugh at yourself. Laugh often, laugh deeply, and laugh with friends and family. It should be a regular part of your routine. Smile at everyone. Poke fun at your circumstances and yourself. It is part of a life worth living.

I also think that it totally confuses the devil. If you can laugh even when life seems to be hurling flaming projectiles your way then he knows that you possess joy and peace and that you will not be defeated.

Come to think of it, that is something worth smiling about.

Dad

Our son, Brandon, graduates from high school this week. I have written a series of letters to him that I hope will encourage him to live a life that pleases God. I am sharing some of them with you hoping that it might inspire and encourage you as well. I am thinking of getting them published. Let me know what you think.

Letter # 18 - Protect your name

Dear Brandon,

I have given you many gifts over the years. It is one of the perks of being a father. Few things bring a man as much pleasure as giving something meaningful to one of his children and watching their joyful reaction. I never understood what Jesus meant when He told us that giving is better than receiving until I had children. Now I understand.

The most precious gift I have ever bestowed upon you is not one that you can hold in your hands, but one that must be held in your heart. It is the gift of your name.

There are three parts to this gift. The first part is uniquely yours. I have given you a name that is yours alone. What you do with it will determine what people think when it is spoken. Your name says that you are one of a kind; you are a person made in the image of God; you have value, and you are an eternal soul. How you live will establish the meaning of your name.

The second part of your name is a part that is only mine. I passed on to you my name when you breathed your first breath. My actions and my decisions have colored your world. The way that I have decided to live has become a part of the legacy of your life. You and I will ever be intertwined. It is more than mere blood. It is my name.

The third part of your name is that which is ours to share. It is our heritage. It is the history which is and that which is yet to be written. While you and I have no control over the past we do have control over the parts that are yet unlived; we get to be the authors of our own story. We each must manage our own part.

You have been given a gift. Its value is significant but incomplete. Protect it. Guard it with your life for it is your life that allocates its value. One day you must pass it on to your son. Make sure that he receives a treasure worth keeping.

Love,

Dad

Our son, Brandon, graduates from high school this week. I have written a series of letters to him that I hope will encourage him to live a life that pleases God. I am sharing some of them with you hoping that it might inspire and encourage you as well. I am thinking of getting them published. Let me know what you think.

Letter # 17 - Spend time with God

Dear Brandon,

I believe the simple steps, the little things, the seemingly insignificant choices determine one’s path. The level of success one achieves is not a matter of talent alone but a matter of consistent, wise choices. The little things make the biggest difference. Little choices consistently made over a long period of time form who you become. This is true of diet, exercise, education, relationships, and your chosen profession. It is especially true of your walk with God.

I challenge you to develop the spiritual disciplines in your life. Read the Bible daily. Pray daily. Set a schedule. Form a plan. Set a time and place. Prioritize this simple exercise and you will grow deep in your relationship with God. Neglect it and you will become weak, susceptible, and flimsy in your soul. You will be hollow. And the worst part is that you will know it.

I think that you should also learn the disciplines of giving, serving, and fasting. These disciplines strengthen the soul and harden you for spiritual warfare. It is important that you take regular, tiny steps toward success.

Love,

Dad

Our son, Brandon, graduates from high school this week. I have written a series of letters to him that I hope will encourage him to live a life that pleases God. I am sharing some of them with you hoping that it might inspire and encourage you as well. I am thinking of getting them published. Let me know what you think.

Letter # 16 – Leadership

Dear Brandon,

I have observed in you a leadership quality that is quite powerful, though underdeveloped at this point because of your age and lack of experience. You are a leader. It is pretty obvious that you are a tone-setter, a pace-setter, and the alpha male in your relationships. You have been given a gift. You must use it, develop it, and learn about it if you want to reach your fullest potential.

Brandon, I really believe you have the giftedness to lead. What you do with it is up to you. Potential is of little value if it is not honed. I believe God is going to use you in a mighty way for His kingdom. In fact, it is quite possible that you have a greater gift for leadership than I possess. And you know that I am a leader of leaders.

Here are a few things that you must discover and develop if you are to reach the limits of what you can accomplish.

• Character. You must develop and maintain character. Without it a leader is rudderless and can actually do more harm than good.

• A hunger for knowledge. You must pursue education and become a life-long learner. Never let your potential be higher than your preparedness. This will create a ceiling and you will never go beyond your preparation.

• Passion. You must discover the one thing God has called you to do and do it better than anyone. Nothing great has ever been accomplished without enthusiasm. Passion will lift you off the floor of discouragement and put a spring back into your step.

• Determination. Leaders must have a soul full of grit and fortitude. When others quit just keep on going. Success most often comes after everyone else has stopped. Remember that your victory may be just one more step away.

• Purpose. I believe your ability to focus, learn, and stay with the task comes from knowing what you have been called to do.

• Confidence. Confidence comes from faith in God. He has created you, gifted you, and called you. Trust in Him. Believe that He knows best and you will be able to exhibit a confidence that persuades others to follow you.

• Time with God. There is no substitute for prayer, reading the Bible, and hearing from God. In order to lead effectively you must hear from God and know where it is that you are going. Otherwise it is like the blind leading the blind.

You are going to do great things. I know it. I have known it since you were little. You may not even recognize it yet but you are not normal, and I do not mean that in a bad way but in a good way. You are special. You are not like everyone else. You are uniquely gifted. You have been given a gift. You have been called to do something great, something that matters. I believe in you and I know that you are going to do great things.

Now, it is time to get to it.

Dad

Our son, Brandon, graduates from high school this week. I have written a series of letters to him that I hope will encourage him to live a life that pleases God. I am sharing some of them with you hoping that it might inspire and encourage you as well. I am thinking of getting them published. Let me know what you think.

Letter # 15 – Guard Your Heart

Dear Brandon,

Choose carefully what you value and do not give your heart to things that are not worthy. Paul the Apostle told us to cover our hearts with the body armor of God’s righteousness. You must guard your affections because not everything that competes for your passion will love you back. Some things are more interested in feeding on your soul than feeding your soul.

Some love money and are slowly choked by a thirst that can never be slaked.

Some are betrayed by pleasure. They hand the reins of their life to it and abuse God’s Divine order. They soon discover that a life driven by lust feels no satisfaction.

Some pursue the applause of men and find themselves performing for the amusement of others in a play that never ends.

Some chase the elusive beast of self only to find that it is the worst master of all.

Guard your heart. Be careful to give it to God and what He desires and you will find happiness, contentment, and peace.

Dad

Our son, Brandon, graduates from high school this week. I have written a series of letters to him that I hope will encourage him to live a life that pleases God. I am sharing some of them with you hoping that it might inspire and encourage you as well. I am thinking of getting them published. Let me know what you think.

Letter # 14 - Protect those who have no voice

Dear Brandon,

Manhood comes with responsibilities. One of those responsibilities is to protect those who are weak and innocent. A man of character and worth never manipulates or abuses the less fortunate. We live in a culture that considers certain people to be disposable because they are less. The idea that only the beautiful, the brilliant, the gifted, the powerful, and the wealthy are valuable is an affront to the very essence of the nature of God. People matter to God. He proclaimed that He loves everyone and that means all people have value. Every culture, every nationality, every tribe, every social strata, the good, the bad, the rich, the poor, the intelligentsia, the slow of wit, the conservative, the liberal, the ones I like, and those whom I despise are all important to God. By proxy I must value them too, if I wish to be the kind of man God notices. And trust me when I tell you that you want God to notice you. There is coming a time that you will want His full attention.

Solomon wrote to us that giving to the poor is like lending to the Lord. God always pays His debts…with inconceivable interest. Jesus told us to help the poor. The Apostles emphasized the importance and the sheer humanity of helping those in need and those who have no voice. It is a Christian virtue but it also seems to be a stipulation for entry into manhood.

The world is looking for real men. The world needs men who lead without thinking of themselves first. There will always be a place for these kinds of men…the ones who take up the mantle of leadership and manhood.
I see in you, son, this kind of character. I have observed it in its infancy in you. You have a heart for the weak, the young, the less fortunate, the innocent, and those who need protecting. Stand tall. Embrace that aspect of your character. Become a protector of women, children, and those who have not the strength to fend for themselves. Be a voice for the poor, the sick, and the disadvantaged. Speak up for those who have no one to speak for them. Do not judge unfairly. Never mock the weak. Reserve your judgment and anger for those who take advantage of others. Never climb the mountain without taking others with you, and then you will breathe the sweet air that few ever savor and your world will be colored with strength and honor.

Love,

Dad

Kim and I will celebrate 23 years of marriage tomorrow. At least 21 of them have been happy! Just kidding. I really can’t believe that it has been that long. Can you believe the hair?

Ritchie

23 years ago!

Part of the mission of Avalon HOPE is to help plant churches and train pastors for church growth. Once a month we host a training session that is designed to help pastors grow their churches and reach more people for Christ. Your financial support at Avalon Church helps us to make a greater impact!

Today some of our staff will be training pastors and church planters in the Avalon Coaching Network. Once a month we host around a dozen pastors and discuss issues related to church growth and leadership. I really enjoy investing in these men and I do believe it is having a positive impact on their ministries. Pray for us today that we will be an encouragement and help propel them in the leadership and in their ministry. One of the things I have decided to give my life to is helping young pastors!

Ritchie

I was running. It was just after 7:00 pm and I was on the familiar, four-mile trek near my house that I have traversed well over a thousand times. Cars were pulling slowly past me as we gave each other the requisite friendly, although brief, wave of neighbors who recognize each other but know so little about each other that if they were called to testify in a murder trial all they could add would be, “He seemed so normal.” I was dressed in matching name-brand shoes, socks, shorts, tank-top, and cap. My cap was turned backwards. I am not sure why. I am not running very fast nor am I trying out for a gang. It must be that I am incurably cool. The exposed flesh of my forty-four-year-old upper arms and their random, unruly, man-hairs practically exude the suave self-assurance of an international man of mystery.

Then it happened.

A car approached me so I stepped closer to the curb. I promise I did not see the accidental piece of concrete that jutted up so precariously. My toe caught the tip of it and I began to flail and flap to try and keep my balance. It did not work. I was going down and there was nothing, short of the rapture, that anyone could do about it. At the last possible nanosecond I aimed myself at the narrow patch of grass between the sidewalk and the curb. Fortunately my face took the brunt of the fall, along with my left shoulder.

Guess what? We all fall. It happens metaphorically all the time in life. The question is not if you will fall but what will you do afterwards? Will you get up, brush yourself off, and keep on going? Or will you just lie there?

I decided to get up. I am sure my neighbors appreciate that because I do not match their landscape decorations, but I decided a long time ago that I would always get up, no matter what.

Don’t you think you should get up and keep running too?

Ritchie